October 2018

Fertility Week 2018 – #YouAreNotAlone

Tomorrow marks the beginning of Fertility Week 2018; an extremely important week organised by Fertility Network UK to raise awareness of infertility, change people’s perceptions of the horrible disease and raising funds to ensure fantastic charities like Fertility Network can continue to offer crucial support to people throughout the UK.

This year’s theme is #youarenotalone; a poignant message considering how isolating infertility can feel.

I know only too well how alone you can feel when you’re thrust into the world of infertility; especially when everyone in your life is getting pregnant and having babies, you constantly wonder, why me?

In the spirit of reaching out to anyone suffering with infertility and feeling lonely or isolated, I have written the following poem:

You Are Not Alone

You are not alone

When you wake up day by day,

And think you hear a baby cry

But remember they cannot stay.

They were only in your dreams you see

Where motherhood came your way,

And everything was golden

And your aching went away.

You are not alone

When you amble through the week,

Saying “I’m fine” and smiling

Praying a tear won’t leak.

It’s all wound tight inside you

Beating against your soul,

Yearning for that child

You want so much to know.

You are not alone

When you smile and wish them well,

Another mummy in the making

But not your tummy that will swell.

It’s always someone else’s turn

The pain is hard to swallow,

But strength we muster from hidden depths

It does no good to wallow.

You are not alone

We’re a family who have never met,

From every land across the world

We’re the infertility set.

The week covers many topics that are so important to the topic of infertility and go a long way to breaking down misconceptions and stigmas that still surround the illness. What follows is a brief break-down of the programme for the week.

Tomorrow will see Fertility Network reveal the best and worst places to live in the UK if you’re hoping to access IVF. I always feel incredibly lucky to live in Scotland, where 3 cycles of IVF are available on the NHS to eligible couples. However, the horrible postcode lottery that exists in many other parts of the UK is not only unfair but it is completely wrong and needs drastic alteration immediately. The #Scream4IVF campaign has sought to do exactly that, however every signature counts so please, please sign the petition here if you feel you want to help http://www.scream4ivf.org/

Tuesday talks about Life Without Children; a possible scenario that Dave and I may have to come to terms with in the future. At the moment it’s not something I can even begin to contemplate whilst we still have some fight left in us and options to explore; however it’s a situation that many people have had to accept and try to move forward with a life that doesn’t include children. Fertility Network will be hosting 2 webinars on Tuesday night; one with author Lesley Pyne who talks about her book ‘Finding Joy Beyond Childlessness’ and the other with Dr Sofia Gameiro who will offer practical advice for those who have not achieved their parenthood goals. I will be attending both of these webinars and I encourage anyone who is interested in these topics to do the same. You can find more information about these at http://fertilitynetworkuk.org/for-those-facing-the-challenges-of-childlessness/support/2018-webinar-series/

Wednesday explores the topic of #FertilityFellas. Infertility does not only affect women, however it is predominately women who feel they can open up and talk about infertility. Therefore, men often keep quiet on the area, despite the most common reason for couple’s resorting to IVF being due to male factor infertility. It’s about time that men felt at ease enough to open up and share their stories. Please offer an ear to any man you know going through this difficult journey.

Thursday talks about #Fertilityatwork and your rights in that regard. Do you know what your employment rights are if you need time off work for IVF or other fertility treatment? Fertility Network share some of the most important facts.

Friday focuses on Fertility Education and the important statistics that everyone hoping to try for a baby in the future should know. For example, did you know that by the age of 28 women’s fertility is already falling? #FutureFertility is so important. It’s not just people who are facing fertility challenges at the moment that should be aware of these vital statistics but it’s something that future generations should be educated on, so we can hopefully reduce the amount of people needing infertility treatment in years to come.

On Saturday & Sunday Fertility Network UK will be attending the Fertility Show in London. This is the biggest fertility show in the world and is worth attending if you want to find out more information about infertility or explore your options.

I hope this gives you more insight into this brilliant and really important week. For someone like me, it’s a way of making my voice heard through the fantastic work that Fertility Network UK do. Please offer any support that you can to anyone going through infertility. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen. Thank you so much xx


4 thoughts on “Fertility Week 2018 – #YouAreNotAlone”

  1. #youarenotalone
    Having battled with infertility and told my only option was ivf which wasn’t available for NHS funding as my partner already has a child. I wrote to my Mp he wrote to Cumbria CCG still the answer was No. Along the way one consultant told me the results when my tubes where blocked and quite matter of fact there is nothing we can do for You! At this point I really think counciling should be offered this is a huge thing to battle but no this was never mentioned. I Google everything and kept going back to my doctor. My doctor referred me to Leeds where they undertook a further laproscope and undertook clearing of the tubes. Before the Operation I was told that if my tubes are really badly blocked they would advise that I have them removed as this would give ivf a better chance of working. I explained that I am not entitled to Ivf on the NHS so didn’t want them removed as that would mean no chance conceiving naturally. When I came round from the anesthetic the Doctor told me that they did alot of clearing but the chance of me having children was no chance. This was my worst point just awful, lying on a hospital trolly after having surgery to then be wheeled into a ward with other people (trying not to break Down)I didn’t want to live. Recovering from surgery I got in touch with Manchester fertility they offered a scheme where I could share eggs as a donor which would reduce the cost of ivf. I started the ball rolling. They where brilliant made me feel relaxed for the first time speaking to people who know what they are talking about. We did the initial tests and consultation has to fill out relevant paperwork. One of which I found hard-as a donor if the other party had a child that child could contact me when they turned 18..how would you feel if you didn’t have a child but the other party did with your egg..very difficult decision. So I started the ball rolling and then a miracle happened and I got pregnant with Cory who is now 3 and a half and I am grateful every single day..I have a tear writing this as I can still feel that pain and wouldn’t wish anyone to feel that way.
    Ivf should be available if you have infertility issues on an equal basis not depending on where you live or if your partner has a child it is ludicrous that they can use this against us.
    But also I think you must push and don’t give up ivf is not always the only way. Perhaps it was the operation to clear my tubes-although doctors seem to think that hadn’t worked or perhaps it was starting with Manchester fertility just speaking with professionals who where prepared to help and feeling more relaxed. I don’t know but please explore all options if they say no to ivf keep pushing don’t give Up! Write to your Mp ask your doctor to explore all other available Options!


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